This is the Last Song

hey guys, well I know I suck at updating, but that's because there's no time to update, and well I just dont feel like it. But I just came on here to say that my LA project is donel, so, so am I. I enjoyed it while it lasted, and I'll probably still be coming on here and viewing all your guys blogs.

Grad is quickly approaching and so is the end of the beginning. I hope my life is full of everything that I hoped it to be, thanks to everybody who helped me become who I am today, somedays I don't like it, but I am grateful either way. CON'GRAD'ULATIONS! To all of who are also graduating. God bless you all, I'm signing off.

Luv Karyn

Or is it?

hey guys I'm back! Sorry I took so long, but this has been the busiest 2 months of my life. Not too exciting though. Except that I got 1st at badminton divisonals, with my trusty partner Amy as well as getting 88% at the band festival in Virden we won as well. But, enough about the boring stuff, I do have a couple of exciting stories that might just get you started. Alright so the other day I had a major English assignment due, so I decided to stay up and finish it. Well I stayed up all night ( I know Mrs. Masson, I shouldn't have waited til the last minute. I promise I'll never do it again) cutting and pasting, and peeling those stupid sticker thingers for pictures. ( for those who don't know what the project was, it was an autobiography and I was scrapbooking) Anywayz, so it was about 6 in the morning, and my sister's stupid cat kept bothering me. Then all of a sudden I heard *ghraaaawkht whaaaaaaaakt.....ghraaaaawkht* I turned around and there she was, choking up a freakin hair ball! I was like wwwwwwhhhhhy!!!!??? cuz of course I had to clean it up. I had no sleep I was hungry, and I still had about 2 or more hours left on my scrapbook. So I was like I'm just gonna ignore it and go get some food, so I went and got some food came back and started again, about 2 seconds later I remember that I had forgotten my drink on the table, so I unconsciously walked to the kitchen, did I mention that I didn't quite make it the kitchen? yeah....you guessed it. I stepped in it, all 3 globs of it. I squealed and ran to the bathroom, brown clumpy chunks were flying everywhere, the smell, atrocious, and as some of you might have guessed, yes I chose the one thing that I promised I would stay away from................the toilet! I dove my foot into the cold water of the toilet and swished it around as hard as I could, rubbing my foot vigorously along the white porcelain walls. It was in that moment that I realized that my foot was in the toilet, and that I had said I would never do it again, but then I thought about and I was like, no no it's ok, it's NOT my hands so it doesn't count!

So yes, that is my story, I have to go to baseball right now, so I'll tell you my other story later. hehe hopefully not by next month.

"Don't you ever come back here again! ........Thank you come again!"

The Life of a Toilet

Ok, so for toastmasters in La today, I had to write to write a speech. We could write anything we wanted, so I decided to write about something very dear to me in my life right now; toilets. The speech went over well, and I was told that it's blog worthy, I thought why not, so here it is:

Good afternoon *enter CEO’s name here* and fellow toastmasters. Well, lately in my life, actually all of my life, toilets has been very fond of me. Me? Fond of them? Not so much, but they just don’t seem to leave me alone. Almost every good story I have, has to do with them. So I decided that they deserve some consideration for their great duties in my life, in fact in everybody’s life.

In 1596 Sir John Harrington, godson to Queen Elizabeth I was the man who first invented what was to become the indoor plumbing toilet. He wanted to create something that would fit the needs of Queen Elizabeth I, his invention was to be called a “toilet”, it was the one and only one, and another was never built. Not for another two hundred years that is. In Europe many people tinkered around, and found many different ways to convenience the toilet, but in America they were still using chamber pots, or bed pans.

The first Americans to start the toilet phase were James T. Henry and William Campbell. In 1875 they created the water closet, a room or booth containing a toilet and often a washbowl, but they were shunned by many for their unsanitary tendencies. In between the years 1850 and the1890’s, modernizing toilets almost seemed to be a game or a race. Everyone was trying to improve the way of the toilet. It wasn’t until the early 1900’s that two men, Charles Neff and Robert Frame, came up with the flush down process that the toilets today still perform. But, all in all it is Fred Adee who should be getting all the attention, for he was the man who redesigned the toilet bowl, so that there wouldn’t be constant messy overflows. To him we should be forever grateful. Unfortunately, after Fred Adee, records were lost, and it is unknown who the inventors of the tank mounted on the back of the toilet as well as the handle, that we so often jiggle, were.

There are many different kinds of toilets, Gravity Tank toilets, Pressured Tank toilets, Flush Valve Operated toilets, Floor-Discharge Drain Line toilets, Wall-Discharge Line toilets, not to mention automatic flushing, Brandon Shopper’s Mall toilets rock!. Now just imagine these are only the different ways a toilet can flush! This is a lot more complex then it used to be, that’s not even getting into things like heated or padded seats, or didets, man you don’t even need to wipe yourself! The world of toilets is endless.

We all take toilets for granted, I mean how many hours do we spend on the toilet at a time? You don’t know? Well let me tell you. An average person spends:

-10 minutes on the toilet a day

- which is 70 minutes a week

- 280 minutes a month

- 3360 minutes a year

- and 268,800 a lifetime

For all of you who are minute inclined that’s:

- 1 hour and 10 minutes a week

- 5 hours a month

- 56 hours a year

- 4480 hours a lifetime

For those of us that “drink” it is approximately 1440 minutes or 24 hours extra a year on or by the toilet! That’s an entire day! Now don’t you think we could maybe clean them for just maybe a minute longer? And perhaps give it a new name, because I’m sure it’s tired of being called Ralph.

Now, I hope you have a better love for your toilet; perhaps at least you’ve given it a different name. I couldn’t imagine being urinated on so many times by the ones I love, and still getting treated like crap! If anything just please don’t think of me when you’re on the toilet, but about the toilet and how much it would rather prefer the soft 3 ply toilet paper to the 1 ply paper towel. If you can’t do that, just promise me one thing, that you WILL use a plunger, hands are just too messy. Thank you and good day.

HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY!!!!

Black or White?

So the other day I was thinking, why do we always judge people about their color? I mean we all have the same color of blood, we all get bruises when we're hit, we all cry when someone backstabs us. Michael Jackson had a good point...............................haha ok so I can't fake this anymore. I mean I really don't understand why we judge people because of their color, but that's not why my title read "Black or White?" As a matter of fact it's very far from it.

Ok, so if you haven't noticed I don't write in my blog very often, and I'm sorry, but I suck at ranting, and I am the farthest from inspirational, so my goal is maybe just to crack a smile, or a "Not again Karyn!" that's it, that's all I ask! Oh yes, and I suck at grammer ;)

Ok, so this weekend, actually yesterday was my Uncle Jim's 70th Birthday; HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNCLE JIM!!!!!!!!!!But yes, as you know a lot of times family get togethers can be very boring, and well no surprise there, it was. The only exciting thing was that there were Aussie's there! wooooooow! Gotta love your Aussies! Oh yah, and there were butterflies and roses made out of carrots!!! So cool! But ya, back to my story. Ok, so we were on our way home, we meaning;my mom, my sister and I, around Pierson, when we saw a pair of eyes on the highway. So of course my mom slowed down, it appeared to be black and white, so we were sure that it was gonna be pretty stinky in a few minutes. But, as we got closer the animal had no desire to run away, so I figured that it was probably a cat or a dog. As we got closer, it still wasn't moving, so I started to think it was hurt. I was about to stay "stop" but then it was brought to my attention that there were two pairs of eyes not one! eeek! two cats! I knew right away that it was spring because EWWWWWWWWW!!!!! They were doin it! Right in the MIDDLE of the highway! I mean why the highway!? Anywhere but there, that's what ditches are for! Fortunately we broke up the little love escapaide. ( don't know how to spell) I'm sure they'll think twice next time they decide to go at er!

OH yah! Today I discovered something, I can blow snot out of my eye! Am I the only one that does that!? Please tell me I'm not. hehe

hmm ......promised bathroom humor

Well, I'd give ya a good story about today but it wasn't so great, I was sick and I went to a funeral, so I'm gonna talk about another bathroom story that happened this weekend. Prepare yourself, it's not pretty, hehe and I really don't know why I'm even going to tell it. I just want everyone to know that you're not the only one.

Ok, so you know when you're in a public washroom, or at a person's house and how there's NEVER a plunger, and almost everytime when "duty calls" you end up plugging the toilet. You can see the water rising, higher and higher and higher, you can just see the floaties floating all over the bathroom floor, instead of in the bathroom toilet, you start to sweat, and panic. We all do stupid things when we panic. See what I mean by you're not the only one?

Now you're probably wondering what I did when I panicked, or possibly not, but to keep you waiting impatiently, I'll tell you the whole story.

It was a stormy Saturday night, and nothing could be heard but the slurping of Brodie and I's Boston Creams, I stared out the window, intrigued by the millions of snowflakes floating around, coasting their way down to comfort the unisulated cold ground. I was amazed at how beautiful God really is, and everything that He's created, and couldn't help but feel at peace. Yes that lovely word peace, until....until I was rudely interupted by that dreaded feeling of someone twisting your gut. I coudn't ignore it any longer, I dismissed myself from the table and proceeded to the washroom. As I sat there, (hehe, yes I'm talking about the toilet, if you feel uncomfortable this is your chance to leave) I was thinking about the past day, or more so the past hours I had just endured, and how wonderful they really were. I was talking to God and praising Him for being so amazing, but I asked Him, why do you insist that we must empty our bodily substances?

I was flushing the toilet, when I realized the worst that could happen, was happening. The water continued to rise as did the reason why I was panicking. I didn't know what to do, so I decided to go right to the root of the problem, a place where I tend to go. I plunged my hand into the icy waters and went log rolling...........apparently I'm a natural, because it worked. All was well, except for the rather disgusting wretched wetness that I wore upon my arm. I furthered to the sink and burned my arm off with the miles of hot water and soap I used to scrub it off. I dried my hands off and walked out the door with a wide smile, giigling to myself, cuz it was then that I realized the reason why God gave us the ability to empty ourselves. He most definitely has a sense of humor, and simply just wants us to smile. If it weren't for bathroom stories, I don't think I would ever have a good story.

What Was That!?

Ok, so you know when you're at a friend's house for the first time, so you're all nervous and try to be as quiet and polite as possible? And, everytime you do, you always end up doing something stupid, or embarassing. Well let me tell you my story.

This past weekend I was in Winnipeg at my friend Jess's house. And as expected we stayed up late, like early morning late, occupying ourselves with the numerous jokes, stories and spontaneous boob attacks. We finally decided it was a good idea to saw a couple logs, so off to bed we were. In bed, we continued to talk about different things,you know, the things only girls talk about, that's right boys, it's CONFIDENTIAL, and girls shhhhh. We were in bed shootin the "stinky stuff", when all the sudden I had the urge to empty my bodily fluids, this just happened to be at 4 in the morning :-s. After leading my way through the midst of pure darkness, big "mountains" , dying cat, the loft of doom, and other trecherous obstacles , I had finally overcome it, I made it to the oh so very unfamiliar bathroom. Of course I went to the bathroom, did "my thing" and was ready to go face it all over again. This time I think I had a little too much confidence on my journey back to the 'House of Jess'. I was getting more sure of where I was,so with my arms out in front of me, and my eyes closed, cause it wouldn't make a difference anywayz, walking through the dark, in a very "familiar" house with the very deadly cat awaiting me around the corner I decided to quicken my pace to turtle speed, when the worst thing could have happened. I had met my doom; a table. This table was no ordinary table it was the "Table of Fragiles", it had every little breakable thing I swear Jess had in her house on it, PLUS flowers, real ones! I had awakened every creature with a loud TWACK! Clang! Clunk! Smash! Followed by an annoyed groggy voice that said: "WHAT WAS THAT!?" Of course, this startled me, and all I could do was stand there, questioning my motives, should I run, hide, confess, or run. I decided to respond with (insert whatever I said here, possibly "I'm not sure") and take motive 1 and 4 and RUN! I tore downstairs, past the Loft of Doom, through the Midst of Darkness, away from the Dying Cat, over the Big "Mountains" and back into the safety of NO NAME's arms, Jess's replacement for her beloved Scruffles. ( if you haven't figured it out, they're stuffed animals) I had finally made it back at last.

And the moral of this story kids, don't go pee in an unfamiliar house, 4 oclock in the morning, while everybody is sleeping, in the dark, or the Table of Fragiles might get YOU too!

Tune in next time for some great bathroom humor ;-)
Thanks for the butter and goodnight.